Nicodemus was up again - in the middle of the night. Was he frightened? That's the way I read this text. Dave Berry, the columnist, once wrote: "All of us are born with a set of instinctive fears - of falling, of the dark, of lobsters, of falling on lobsters in the dark, or speaking before a Rotary Club, and maybe especially we are frightened by the words, 'Some Assembly Required.'" Berry was being funny ... but he's on target as he says, "All of us are born with a set of instinctive fears."

Nicodemus was up again - in the middle of the night. It could have been a number of things disturbing peaceful slumber, but I think Nicodemus was up again in the middle of the night because he was frightened. Sweat-soaked and frightened. Maybe my reading of Nicodemus says more about me than him, but I think he was frightened. Fears are so magnified at 3:00am. Sinatra once said, "Basically, I'm for anything that gets you through the night - be it prayer, tranquilizers or a bottle of Jack Daniels." Nicodemus, as he experienced the fears that plagued him in the middle of the night, Nicodemus needed something more, forget tranquilizers and Jack Daniels. Nicodemus needed something even more powerful than prayer!.

Do you sometime have fears ... in the middle of the night? About what? Your children? Your wallet? Your job? Your health? Your diagnosis? Your prognosis? Your mortality? Whatever your fears ... and I have my own ... we can deal with them in a more reasonable, rational way at three o'clock - in the afternoon. But three in the morning is a different animal. So yes, Nicodemus was up again ... in the middle of the night. Seeking Jesus. The name Nicodemus means "Victory over the People." It's a lofty name, "Victory over the People." But less than lofty when you cannot get a decent night's sleep because you cannot conquer your own fears. I know a little bit about names and their meanings. My name, Timaow Theo in Greek, means: one who honors God. Another lofty name and I don't live up to my name nearly enough. Perhaps Nicodemus feels the same about himself, "My gosh, how can I have victory over the people; I cannot even vanquish the darkness of the night ... and my own gnawing fears."

Nel got the call about her father about 2:30am - yesterday morning. His death was not unexpected. In a way, it was welcome. But a flood of emotions wash over you when you hear such news. For me, Howard was a father-in-law for almost forty years. I was twenty-five when my own father died - exactly two weeks before I was married. It was as if my Dad knew he could pass the torch to Howard. "Take care of my boy, Howard. And a word of warning, sometimes he doesn't live up to his name." And Howard was like a father to me.

Howard was three when his own father died. Three is a rather young age to become the man of the house, but I could see him handling the role. He was two years older than his brother Paul ... and it's easy to see how the family of three, Howard, Paul, and Mom became so close to one another. But they had each other ... and they had a strong faith in a loving God. A faith for which Nicodemus seems to be yearning - as he seek out Jesus in the middle of the night. Nicodemus senses that Jesus looks at life differently ...and whatever is on the agenda of Jesus that evening (maybe even sleep) he immediately gives full attention to Nicodemus. Here is the heart of the Gospel ... and the heart of our Savior. Jesus is one day, through his own death and resurrection, Jesus was going to give victory to the people. All the people. But that night, at that moment, there is no person in the universe more important to Jesus than one man, Nicodemus. I truly believe in a way I cannot begin to understand, that the person who catches the ear of Jesus is the most important person in the world, at that very moment.

If I pay attention between the lines of this text, it seems as if Nicodemus is probing the depths of existence. "Who am I? Why am I on this earth? Where will I be when this journey called life is over?" Jesus urges Nicodemus to find faith ... to be "born from above." Not born again, but born from above. "But how?" Nicodemus wants to know. "Well, it's like the wind, Nicodemus. You don't know where it comes from. You don't know where it goes. You cannot control it, predict it, harness it." And Nicodemus says more-or-less, "I don't understand." And Jesus more-or-less says in reply, "You don't understand? Now you're catching on!" Even Jesus did not seek to bottle the mystery of life for us. We must live that mystery.

Maybe Nicodemus begins to get discouraged, because Jesus gives him no answer. Jesus does not give Nicodemus an answer. But more important than an answer from Jesus - Nicodemus gets the full attention of Jesus. And a promise of Jesus. Nicodemus will have to be satisfied with both the attention and the promise. I suspect he was. And as you and I search for answers to the whole mystery of our existence, perhaps the attention of Jesus, and also his promise, will satisfy us.

The promise is this. And from the thousands of sermons you'll likely hear in a lifetime, if this is all you remember - you've remembered enough. "For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life. Indeed, God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him." I am convinced these words gave comfort to three-year-old Howard when his father died in a tragic accident, which occurred in his very front yard.

Through-and-through, Howard Reinhardt was a man of faith. A fixture at his church for the first forty-five years of his life in Hickory, North Carolina, and for these final forty-five years in Raleigh. I never had long conversations about faith with Howard, but his life and lifestyle spoke volumes. I know his faith got him through his each and every night ... and his final one. And this: I recall vividly a story he told me sixteen years ago, when his mother died. Howard was with her when she died, and when she closed her eyes and took her final breath, Howard reached out with his thumb and traced the sign of his faith - the sign of the cross upon her forehead ... a reminder to himself and a sermon to those in the room with him, that his mother was destined, not for dust - but for glory! She had been born from above!

And this morning I sense that, after his encounter with Jesus, even though the answers are not all in place, still I sense that finally ... Nicodemus is able to get a good night's sleep! No, Nicodemus did not have all the answers to human existence ... or his own. But he had a living hope. And what is hope? Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark. Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark, and grabbing onto the promise, "God so loved the world...."